Here is my magic bullet points to find what I love:

1. Start somewhere - to find what we love, we are likely to start with a problem/the gut.

2. Try it till you are sick of it - sorry, you and the thing you thought you love just does not work out...

3. Try a different it, until you get constant butterflies in your stomach. You save every minute in life (in the bathroom, at work, in class, etc.) just so you can know more about it.

4. It will change - if this is the case, go back to Bullet Point 2.

It has been a big old topic, but one of the hardest question for people in their 20s. There are a lot of posts out there that listed bullet points to teach us how to find what we love. But the pursuit of our love is harder to do than said.

I, as one of the typical example, has thought I had an idea of what I love. Even after being accepted to MIT, I was still able to convince the whole world that "my major is the one for me", and therefore, I got so many opportunities to travel the world because my romantic tale with "what I love to do". But going back to reality, one day i asked myself 2 questions:

Do I see myself doing ______ for the rest of my life? And/Or am I doing the best and whatever I can, to make sure I will be able to do ______ in the very near future.

Then I slowly realize, if the one of the answers is/or both are no, I am INDEED not doing what i love to do.

Starting in early 2014, I decided to give myself one year to find "what I love to do" by answering these 2 questions with 2 "yes".

so... Where to Start?

Where to start searching? Well it is easier than thought. I started with a problem of myself. It does not mean that we need to be an engineer or mathematician to solve a problem. In fact, when we are not happy and not satisfied of the problem/issue, there must be something we need to change in our life.

My problem started when my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I hated that, the doctor was too busy to help and I was completely out of control since our whole family was so overwhelmed and did not know what to do.

Based on my limited research skills and talking to many other patients (Hint No.1), I found out that in order to find the optimal treatment for my dad, I have to look to collect a large amount of patients' data, including treatment, how well they feel and how long they live(d), as well as clinical trials, research paper.

But damn, I am not a doctor, and I am not a statistician. I am just an engineer who love to talk and love to learn. So I thought of 2 things I can do, just to give it a try:

1. take genetic class;

2. learn statistics and programming.

Pick the one you love the most - Keyword is?

It's kind of like dating, you go out and date many guys and girls. And to preserve your time and energy, you gonna pick one. But you have to go out and have dinner with them, bring them to movie, concert and maybe your home, to see if you are happy together, and whether you can potentially make good kids together. The keyword is: TRY.

And I did. I started to take free programming classes in Coursera, edX, codeacademy, etc. Languages including python, javascript, R, PHP, and of course, many other libraries available for these languages. I even built my own Version A website, built an app. But when I went home imagining that i have to learn more and more on this subject, I was not happy, and sometimes even afraid. What would you do if you are not happy with someone you date? You move on. (In the end, I asked my friends Figo to do the coding part, so that I can focus on something else)

The one...

Then I switched to focus on genetics. I had a thing for biology in middle school. But at MIT, there are some geniuses told me: Genetics is one of the most boring yet complicated subject that everyone should stay away from. But since if I do not do it in time, it is unlikely that I would see my dad again in the next 2 years, I started classes to understand general genetics. Since the start of the class, I am so looking forward to going home everyday, so that I can listen to lectures. Moreover, I even do some additional research to deepen my understanding of the topic. When an answer gets solved, it is like a butterfly in my stomach. See the difference between my feeling towards programming and genetics? Then you really know genetics is the one for me.

One thing I have been very proud is that, regardless of how my dad's cancer progresses now, I will know what is the best option of treatment for him, and doctors are finally willing to discuss treatment option with me. Next we want to combine the beauty of computer science and genetics to help more patients and family.

Finally, life changes over times...

Just so people know, it is very likely that "what we love to do" tends to change over times. As I know more and more in genetics, I am now more inclined to study Epigenetics and Psychology. Fortunately, our world is connected with dots and your current love is also likely to be a crucial step to find our next passion. Nonetheless, never stop trying.