Recently, a friend who’s a self-made millionaire at age 20 asked me:
“What’s the crashing moment you’ve experienced that completely changed you?”

For people who read my blog, they might think the answer is the death of my father.
It’s been 12 years since he passed, and in retrospect, that moment was just the beginning of my own awakening. The real crashing moment came much later in my life. In fact, it wasn’t even a particular second or day—it was a two-year struggle across every aspect of life.

For me, it started in 2022, when we were locked down in a 30-square-meter apartment with someone who had gone through so much with me—someone who, a year later, cheated on me. At the same time, I wanted to move closer to my family; both of my grandfathers passed away in the same year, and my mom developed early-stage thyroid cancer from the stress of caring for them. During that period, I had to leave the company I created and joined a company, where I built their first global incubator and gained recognition from local partner. But my boss at the time thought I took too much spotlight and pushed me out of the company. Eventually, I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety, while at the same time, my mom was diagnosed with another kind of cancer.

It finally ended in 2024.
Two years felt like 20. Honestly, it felt like a lifetime.

But I actually feel lucky that all those lifetime events were condensed into 2 years—because now I can bring all the lessons I learned in those short, intense years into the rest of my life.

For work,

I learned to be principled. I learned to identify and test people early on. Technically, I learned so much about building both software and hardware—and saw firsthand how successful (and failed) products are built. I still thank my previous company, now I become replaceable as a co-founder and a partner, because of the diverse knowledge and experience I have.

For life,

I learned to accept.
Accept everything I cannot control.
Accept that people can stop loving me.
Accept society’s cruelty.
Accept that life is fragile.
Accept that I am weak.
Accept that I am not the best.
Accept that I have been defeated.

But I also assured myself: I am always worthy. Always perfect. I love myself unconditionally.

From there, I built rules.
I hold the highest standards for myself.
I fight back if people cross the line.
And slowly, people started to respect my principles—
and no one dares to mess with me anymore.

It made me a better person. It made me realize I’m getting closer to my dream life every day. As I told my husband—who truly is a perfect man—he now has the best version of me. Two years ago, he probably wouldn’t have wanted to be with me. But I kept the promise I made to myself two years ago, and I even wrote a letter in 2023 to keep track of it.

The crashing moment is rarely just a single moment.
It can be years of hell.
But if you keep grinding and iterating yourself like a product - imagine the user is you, and you’re redesigning your life to make it better - you’ll have a much better shot at success in everything you do, and at being with someone who shares your mindset in both work and love.